


100 Furry Presents

by HoshisamaValmor (HannibalCatharsis)



Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: Birthday Presents, Cats, Crack, Humor, Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-15
Updated: 2018-01-15
Packaged: 2019-03-05 00:56:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,017
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13376712
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HannibalCatharsis/pseuds/HoshisamaValmor
Summary: Sebastian gets a birthday surprise from his mother. Ciel gets furious. Made for redrosecrown in the FaustianExchange on tumblr.





	100 Furry Presents

**Author's Note:**

  * For [redrosecrown](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=redrosecrown).



For the longest time he could recall, Ciel was truly, literally, at loss for words. His brain clearly suffered dire damage, damage Sebastian should have prevented from befalling his master. But he was otherwise too occupied to even notice.

Ciel tried to move his lips. A strangled squeak was all he had been reduced to.

What... when... how- how to start? Just...

Sebastian meowled. He  _meowled_  in utter bliss, his own brain reduced to a cooing mess for the same exact amount of reasons as Ciel's.

"You... Sebas- Sebastia..." Good. Progress. "Sebastian..."

"Oh my lord, never have I known more joy, never did I think I would glimpse what you humans call Heaven! But I have!" And he squealed.

The sound unhindered Ciel's shocked brain.

"WHERE THE HELL DID ALL THESE CATS COME FROM?!"

Hundreds.  _Hundreds_  of cats were stuffing his mansion's hall. Shapes, sizes, colors, hundreds of different of them. Screeching meowls, vibrating purrs, tonful of fur that would kill him before he could have a stroke.

"It was my mother!" Sebastian appeared from beneath a blanket of cats, scarying Ciel out of his skin. The cats could haul them like a tidal wave!

And that answer. Ciel couldn't bother to name just one reason for his voice cracking the next moment.

"Your what?!"

"My mother!" the demon kept squealing like a child. "It's my birthday today and she surprised me! I've never been happier in my life!"

Was he really to blame for being so shocked and his brain having simply given up?

"You have a mother? A birthday? How... how in bloody hell do you- Why are there hundreds of cats in my mansion?!"

"A hundred."

"What?!"

"A hundred," Sebastian repeated, face gleaming with a stupid smile as he rubbed it against the fur of one of the creatures. "She thought it would be a nice number, considering how long we haven't spoken! But she was always against being too literal, otherwise she would have got me four times more cats!"

Ciel gaped. Soon, his dropped jaw allowed the fur flying everywhere to get too close to him and he started sneezing.

"You... is your mother trying to kill me? *Atchoo!* How do you even have a mother, you devil?"

"Oh but of course I do. She's a wonderful demon. Ruthless and cranky, but she knows me better than anyone, only she would be so kind to send me this present!"

Sebastian looked like Lizzie in her squealing moments, the smile stamped in their faces and voice pitched painfully high in their excitement. Sebastian, a soul devouring demon capable of the worst monstrosities, was acting like a young human noblewoman. Which so happened was also his fiancé. The parallel was all the most disturbing for that very reason.

*Atchoo!*

"She got so mad at me some years ago, however... and we haven't been in touch since then. Now she bestows me this gift, my heart's secret desire! She wrote it all down!"

Sebastian pulled a black envelope (of course) and moved it with one hand while the other held three round balls of fur with eyes. Whatever it was written in that letter, it was too dark to be read (blood on black paper, but of  _course_ ) and it would certainly not be in English, but regardless, Ciel wasn't interested. A demon mother was just what he needed to add to his list of headaches.

How did Sebastian even have a mother was still too shocking to process.

He did kept on with his rambling, complete with the echoes of meowls. "She got furious with me back at the high of the Neapolitan Disease, I imagined she would never reach out again. All because I took a break from my enjoyment and took interest in an ambitious young man... he was so entertaining, I couldn't help but indulge him a contract. However, my mother saw it as a personal offence, as she wanted to erradicate the entire population post haste... she was never the most patient. Oh well."

Wonderful demon mother. Four hundred years without speaking to each other. Good thing the damn motherly creature wasn't too literal with her presents.

"So your mother wants to kill me by sending you cats?"

"Hardly. She respects my contracts, albeit she always tried to convince me to break them. She doesn't like rules either... Like I said, patience it not..."

"You can break contracts?"

"I would not, and of course it is forbidden. But she has stopped to bother after she gauged the eyes of her humans." He still bore that adorable smile, now fondling the grey fur of a cat who desperately tried to evade him. "I'm not as old or as cranky as her. She doesn't care for rules or punishments. I would never dare to break a contract. According to her letter, she doesn't bother with contracts anymore, she'd been feeding on souls Grim Reapers are judging and hunting them for sport, so you see, she's a wonderful mother!"

"Sebastian." *Atchoo!*

"Yes, my lord?"

"Get rid of all these cats. Immediately. That's an order."

Sebastian looked as though he had been slapped. The grey cat squirmed out of his stunned arms.

"But, my lord..."

"Your mother gauging out my eyes would be a breach in contract, for I wish to  _see_  my revenge. I take you will prevent any possible such thing from happening to me."

The demon's lip trembled. He picked up a different cat slowly, without daring to break eye contact with Ciel, as if he could somehow disguise his movement that way, as if Ciel wasn't blantantly seeing him do it. He held on to the fluffy lifeline, inhaling and exhaling slowly. Ciel's expression did not change. Sebastian was not getting away with any cat.

"You are evil, my lord."

"I would say, ' _you are preaching to the choir',_ but it somehow feels sacrilegious. It should go without saying that I am evil."

And so, amongst sneezes and coughs, the evil nobleman forced the demon to part with his hundred furry presents, said demon sniffling and teary eyed.

.

the end

.

**Author's Note:**

> I liked more than 1 prompt I was given, but I haven't been able to work the others out. Yet. Maybe someday.
> 
> thanks for reading


End file.
